Think of negatives – that should be easy. Find ways to be positive about those negatives – not so easy but useful
My physical journal will capture full thoughts on the things I find to be “negative” or “problematic” in my life. For this forum, I’ll focus on a subset of negatives and the silver lining I find in each.
Kids – unfair to characterize as negative because we are blessed with two healthy, happy, so far good world citizens. But once you have them, the list of worries grows exponentially. Are they safe, are they eating, are they growing, are they happy, are they compassionate, on and on and on. So what of that ever growing list are current concerns for us? Here are the top concerns for each.
Emily – building on yesterday’s post, Emily has tended to be very shy all her life. She’s a follower normally and never the leader. Her first pre-school experience was a disaster, she’s a homebody, she’s happiest when her brother and parents are within earshot and drawing quietly at her table. Each time she is thrown into a new social situation, we worry – massively. My wife stalks the parents of such social circles and bribes them to have playdates ahead of time so she doesn’t walk into a strange situation not knowing anyone. Which is what happened with kindergarten – she hired former KGB spies to identify incoming parents and set up as many playdates and intros as possible. So when Emily walked into class today, she held hands with two of the girls already and was a bit more surrounded by “friends” then some of the other kids. Despite all this, no doubt Emily was nervous and keeps mentioning how she doesn’t know how to make friends… Hard to admit these things as a parent who want people to think your child is perfect, but it’s the truth – Emily is introverted and tends to take a lot of time to break out of her shell, and even then she’ll never be the life of the party. So what’s the silver lining – I’m convinced she’s this way because it goes hand in hand with how introspective she is, far beyond her age. She thinks and thinks and thinks – about everything. That’s something to worry about too because I identify with that trait and know the responsibility of having such a personality throughout life. She’ll never be the carefree, wind in her hair, be a ski bum after college type of girl. But it’s this trait that makes her exceptionally compassionate – why I find random love notes hidden under my pillow every now and then without ever a peep that it’s there from her, why she gets upset when our son doesn’t eat and truly cares for his nutrition, why when I had to sleep on the floor camping (see my Staycation post) she held my hand to make me feel better. For that, I’m truly grateful – could she be less shy and still be this compassionate? Possibly, but I’ll accept her for who she is, better yet I’ll celebrate who she is because I’ll take compassion over extrovert any day.
Now onto my son – if you want problems, we could be here all night. But let’s focus on the topic consuming Polly and me 24/7. First, I’ll put this into perspective. I call Cooper Coby – it’s short for Kobaiyashi, I probably butchered the spelling but the Japanese guy who was the reigning hot do eating champion when Coby was a baby. I came up with this name because Coby would eat anything, stuff his face, hot dogs at a precocious age – it was a parent’s dream come true, especially since Emily was a horrible eater for the first few years. Then one day, he decided to become anti-food. Meaning, he could even be hungry and still the answer would be no to any food. Thus a running battle with the dining table began. We struggle with it today, and in the back of my mind I know he’ll someday be that teenage boy that can’t go to the fridge enough during the day. Yet we worry that he’ll be 4 foot 6 because of what he’s doing now. But I’ve come to peace with it – I don’t have unrealistic, grandiose dreams of Coby playing the NBA, never have. I made a promise to him in the labor room almost 3 years ago that I will do whatever I can to bring happiness into his life – nothing more. So as I think about this current challenge (hopefully temporary), I take stock in all of the wonderful blessings about him. On this particular worry, I’ve decided that he’s just damn cuter than most 2.5 year olds because he’s smaller – e.g., he’s potty trained like some 2.5 year boys, but seeing my little guy standing at the urinal is a hilarious sight because he doesn’t look like a kid that should be doing that. I laugh and I’m thankful.
Last one. Let’s face it – the downturn in the economy is on everyone’s mind. As an an entrepreneur with a heavy sense of responsibility, it’s a wonder that I sleep at all between the businesses and my kids. This is a much more boring topic, so I’ll save the juicy details for the journal. But what have I learned this past year of stress and uncertainty? I’ve learned that tough times make you stronger – it’s like that Nietzsche quote. It’s allowed me to appreciate the dedication, loyalty and care everyone takes at Tiny Prints more so than usual to survive and thrive in the current economy. It’s allowed me to appreciate the deeply rooted family culture that exists. And it’s allowed me to appreciate the fact that without such a culture and special people, we would never have even been around to worry about the current downturn – so much odds against our favor long before last October, it’s easy to feel grateful that we have a growing business to worry about.
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